Vacation

Family

What make a family?  Is it blood? A piece of paper from the courthouse? A lifelong friend?

I'm not sure....mostly people think of family as a constant...something permanent....but is it?  When family members die, are they still your family?  If your family is a group of soldiers who have been through hell with you, do they cease to be your family once the white flags are flown?  I don't know.....

How many people are "family" by blood and hurt one another beyond forgiveness....how many people out there don't know who their birth parents are? 

I love my "blood" family, but I also have friends who are my "family", they are invited to all our events, show up without an invite and help themselves to my refrigerator.  Now that I'm in a new place, are the people who assume I spend holidays with them, look after me when I'm sick or too drunk, make sure I get home safe, considered my current "family".

I don't know.....but I'm thankful for all of them.

Sometimes the holes in your life aren't places where things are missing....but rather places that have yet to be filled in...

3 sides to every story

We have the same story...the only difference is...

It's told from different sides....

Yes I think it's funny.
Friends aren't really friends
do you want to talk about that Eve 6 birthday?
when it was just you and me and what do you want to say?
Go ahead and pick a side because that's what people do
and I wish it could be different but it's just a day in the life
And my lips taste like peppermint and there's a smile on my face
and I DON'T CARE - it's there and I like it
I don't care, I'm not choosing sides,
I'm running away and
I'm on my own team

...the only way to see the beauty in this world...

....is to take the time to notice it...

Philly

I love New Orleans so much I really thought he and I would get married and live there. I felt at home and I was in love - but it just hurt too much. I just wanted to come first in someone's eyes, I never felt like I was top priority and I know that sounds selfish but when you only see someone a few times a year I want their attention. Maybe that's too much but that's what I need.

I never felt good enough, I felt like I was the girl "they" always talked about, that was weird and not like them. Someone they could feel charitable for talking to and make fun of when they weren't. And in the end they/you all proved me right.

I always felt like I was reaching to be something I wasn't. Either trying to change for him or trying to let him off in order for him to feel better - when all I really wanted to be was enough, why wasn't I enough? I have never hurt so much as the morning I waited for my own cab to go back to my apartment in the North.

I'll never understand why.

spent most of the day today inside and on my porch. The people who live above me are being incredibly loud.

procrastination

I've been following the cat around....

Instead of doing my paper....